June 2012
Who am I allowed to kiss at VidCon
My kiss rates:
Attractive single women with large breast: Free
Everyone else: $10,000
How to be tumblr famous
- Say “Fuck Dr. Who and Sherlock”
Then acquire followers!
May 2012
Topics comedians have beaten into the ground:
George W. Bush
Illegal immigrants crossing the border
Airports and flying
online dating
Facebook
Feel free to add to the list
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Going to a lot of open mics, the topic of Online Dating has been beaten bloody into the ground.
A very short lesson in Psychology:
- When a person laughs too much, even on stupid things, that person is sad deep inside
- When a person sleeps a lot, that person is lonely
- When a person talks less and if he talks fast, that person is keeping a secret
- When a person can’t cry, that person is weak
- When a person eats in an abnormal way, that person is in tension
- When a person cries on little things, that person is softhearted
- When someone asks about you although that someone is busy, he/she really loves you
When a person sets your home on fire, it means they are a misguided arsonist.
When someone shits in your yard, it probably means they like you.
When someone punches you in the face, they just don’t know how to say I love you yet.
Call 911 and ask them how their day is going. They will appreciate it. Friendly gestures go a long way
